You might feel just as anxious as many of your students on the first day of school. As teachers of little humans, though, we all know that the first day of school brings excessive anxiety for some students. Children who have spent very little time away from parents over the summer, shy students, and highly anxious students are at risk for showing signs of distress from the moment they enter the classroom.
In the midst of greeting your new students and parents (ahem…. chaos), juggling all the demands of establishing routines and procedures, and helping your students feel safe and welcome, here are three quick and easy steps that you can use in a pinch when you’re faced with an anxious student who is having difficulty calming down.
-
Reflect exactly what you see with the anxious student.
At first glance, this might sound difficult or confusing, but you don’t need to be a trained counselor or psychologist to use this technique. It simply involves making observations about what you see. “I can see that you feel really sad today, Heather. I wonder if you might be worried about how you’re going to make it through the day without your mom.” This gives your anxious student the gift of understanding, which might be all she needs. When that child knows that you understand how she is feeling, she will be much more likely to connect and calm down.
-
Connect with the emotion of your anxious student in some way.
Whether you want to share a time when you felt the same way, or validate their feelings, an empathic comment sends additional confirmation that you understand their plight. “I know it takes courage to come to school when you’re feeling nervous and scared. I woke up with butterflies in my stomach this morning too!”
-
Distract the anxious student with something engaging.
After you’ve shown the student that you understand their anxiety, it’s very appropriate to try to distract the student by engaging them in some way. Perhaps you draw in another student who can be that child’s new buddy, or you turn the child’s attention to a fun, hands-on activity.
There are inevitably students who take longer to respond and it’s okay to walk away from the student even if the tears and distress continue. The most important thing is that you’ve acknowledged the child’s feelings and offered empathy and redirection. It’s a good idea to continue to connect nonverbally with the child throughout the day by offering a pat on the shoulder, eye contact with a smile, or a thumbs up. Even if it appears that no progress is being made with that anxious student, you are inevitably making a huge difference in that student’s experience.
On a side note:
After a healthy 5-10 minutes with parents in the room, I kindly let them know that I appreciate them for walking their child to class, but that it’s now time for us to begin our day. Students who are crying and latching on to parents especially need their parent to leave. It WON’T get better if the parent hovers over the child or sneaks around in the hallways. The sooner they leave, the better.
Kudos to you for choosing the most important profession in the world! Whether it’s the first day of school or you have a student that regularly struggles with anxiety, hang in there! You have the potential to transform a traumatic experience into something really positive for that child.
You might also be interested in these posts:
With 21 years of experience, my go to strategy is definitely to distract . I typically have out my most engaging activities, books, and even a game. Whatever works!
Great ideas!
Sometimes I wish I could do flips or something…. that would be an awesome distraction, right? Haha!
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
I feel like different things work with different kiddos! Stress ball, taking a walk down the hall, and swinging (if out at recess) have been the top things that worked for me! 🙂
As a former school counselor, one of my absolute favorites is a stress ball! It always amazed me how therapeutic that can be for kids.
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
As a parent of an anxious student, these strategies are great and have worked for me daughter,! As a teacher with 21 years of experience, I’ve found that “get to know your activities” tend to work best for anxious students when they work with a partner and each partner shares something about the other student. This takes the spotlight off of the anxious student and lets him/her focus on a new friend.
I love this! Enlisting other kids is ultimately the best way to help a child feel comfortable. Fantastic ideas!
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
LAURA-
YOU ARE THE WINNER OF THE GIFT CARD! PLEASE EMAIL ME @ [email protected] so that I can get the code to you for the $10.00 card!
Thanks so much and congratulations!
Kirsten 🙂
I give them their own space before sitting down to talk with them about what is making them worried or anxious
Yes, that can be important too! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
My go to strategy is to empathize and tell them I’m nervous too. I’ve also (for a really anxious kiddo) done a midday email to mom where the kid helps me write to her and then I read him/her moms response when it comes in.
I’m with you…. the empathy piece is SO important! I love the idea of emailing a parent midday and, as a parent myself, I’d LOVE to get an email from my child’s teacher on the first day, as it would ease my anticipation with regards to my own child’s first day. Awesome ideas!
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
I try to engage an anxious student so they get busy and forget about their distress.
Some engagement ideas are: be a teacher helper in the class or as an errand runner to another classroom, or involve an emphathetic classmate to talk with them or sit together.
This is such a great list…. and so comprehensive! Asking them to be a teacher helper is such a great way to show them their importance and value in the classroom.
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
After I acknowledge their feelings, I try to distract the student by asking them to be my helper or giving them a fun job to do.
I love that you always start with acknowledging their feelings, as it’s such an important step! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
One of my favorite strategies is to just have a conversation or go for a walk! – Katie Shaffer.
Going for a walk is a fantastic strategy! I find that sometimes a student just needs an environment shift for a little bit.
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
I try my best to distract with inviting activities and peer buddies. It’s helpful to explain that I’m JUST as nervous, too. 🙂
Yes, once they understand that everyone (including the teacher) is in the same boat, it can be such a game changer! Love your ideas!
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
I couldn’t agree more Lori! The validation of their feelings is so key. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
Great strategies. My top one is to connect. Kiddos often feel closer to you when you connect rather than telling them how to act. I also make sure to have a discussion that we are FAMILY on the first day and do some activities that involve role play. It works great!!! Such a cute blog!
Awesome strategies Ashley! Making the kids feel like part of a family is a perfect way to connect. I love that! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten
Distracting them…. Until they feel a bit better. Then talking. p.s. Your blog looks fabulous!!
Distractions are so useful! Thanks so much for your sweet comment about the blog as well! Laine Sutherland from Little Peace of Africa is an incredible designer! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Kirsten